1. Call him Deputy Dawg.

2. Ask him to help you light a cigarette.

3. Tell him to move out of your way.

4. Tell him you drove a car (and no, not a petal powered car).

5. Ask him to autograph your pocketknife.

6. Ask him what type of doughnuts he likes best.

7. Ask him if he's ever been in jail.

8. Ask him were you can get a shiny badge like his.

9. Ask him if you can test his gun.

10. When he he yells at you for running in the hallway, tell him you were running home to watch Cops.

11. Ask him to let you ride in his car.

12. Squirt him with a water gun.